Book Review: I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

**Warning: This post contains a lot of bad language. If you're easily offended, skip this entry.

I can't think of any time in my reading history that I've ever been completely embarrassed to be seen in public with a specific book. Apparently there's a first time for everything.

"I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" is Tucker Max's memoir of drinking to excess, amusing one-liners, and lots of one-night stands. I really can't even say why I picked this book up, but honestly, I'm not sorry that I did.

Tucker is a self-admitted asshole and after reading this book, I have to completely agree with him. I've never been so aghast at the behavior of one person and yet so completely in awe of him. Tucker is the kind of guy who will not only insult you mercilessly, but he will do it so articulately that all you can do is stand there and stutter. It's infuriating.

Tucker is not a stupid guy. He's well educated and a great writer, which is very evident in his storytelling. It's the content of those stories that will be a major turn off to people. Guys are predictably his main audience, but there is a small portion of women (like me) who actually find his stories to be hilarious.

My favorite quote from the book is this: “Ladies, let me give you some advice. You can throw all your stupid fucking chick-lit, self-help, why-doesn’t-he-love-me books out, because this is all you need to know: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as “deserving” respect; you get what you demand from people. Let a guy fuck you in the ass, come on your back, drink all your beer and then leave, and he’ll do it. But if you demand respect, he will either respect you or he won’t associate with you. It really is that simple.”

This would be the "tough love" version of "He's Just Not That into You".

To sum things up, I loved this book. I thought it was funny, well-written and frankly, I'm looking forward to reading his new book that just came out yesterday. However, there are a few things I should note.

- If you are easily offended, you will not like this book.
- If you are not easily offended, you still might not like this book.
- If you are a female, you probably won't like this book.

And if you want to be added to my waiting list of friends who have already asked to borrow my copy, let me know. I promise I won't tell a soul.

8 is Great

Shannon has tagged me for a meme and since I love these types of lists, let's do this! Here are the questions that I'm supposed to answer.

1. What was the 1st car you drove? My first car was a Dodge Colt Station Wagon. Behold the coolness. Not. I ended up totaling that car 10 months into my driving career when I made a stupid left hand turn right in front of an enormous Cadillac. I'm really lucky that my brother & I weren't killed in that accident because it was pretty rough.
   
2. Who is your favorite author? Jen Lancaster, without hesitation. The woman is brilliant, snarky, bitchy and incredibly articulate. I worship the ground she walks on.
   
3. Do you collect anything? If so, what? Oh geez, where to begin. I have what I would describe as a "hoarding personality", but thankfully I keep a pretty tight rein on it. Things that I collect include books, scrapbooking supplies, music, Disney figurines and flip flops.
   
4. What is your favorite vacation destination? If we're talking the United States, it's a dead tie between Coastal Maine and Disney World. I love each equally and firmly believe that if I ever win the lottery, I will have a vacation home in each place. Outside the U.S., it would have to be England.
   
5. What season is your favorite? What is it about that season that you like best? Fall is my absolute favorite season! One of the advantages of living where I do is that we have 4 distinct seasons. Fall bring the colors changing, all sorts of great festivals and my 3 favorite holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving & Christmas!
   
6. What song can you listen to over and over and never get tired of hearing? Here lately, it's "Revelry" by Kings of Leon. Actually, that's been at the top of list for months now. I just love that band.
   
7. At what age did you receive your 1st kiss? Wow, I really had to think hard about this one and pull from the archives of my brain. If I remember correctly, I had my first kiss at age 11, while at a class party at our local roller skating rink. Sadly, the skating rink is now a self-storage facility. No clue what happened to the guy. Couldn't care less. I do miss the skating rink though!
   
8. What fast food restaurant is your favorite? I would have to say Panera Bread even though I don't really consider them to be fast food. Their Asiago Cheese Bagels are "to die for"!

So, I'm supposed to tag 8 people and give them 8 questions to answer, but I'm awful at tagging and since I've probably lost most of my readers over the last year, let me throw this out there. If you want to do this meme, leave me a comment and I'll send you 8 questions to answer. Or you can answer these same questions.

Table Topics Tuesday: Work of Art

This week, Shannon asks...

what is your favorite work of art?

This is a tough one for me because honestly, I'm not an art connoisseur. However, I do have a favorite artist and his name is Claude Monet. I'm sure you've heard of him, ha ha.

Monet has several famous works of art, but my favorite piece is one called "Houses of Parliament". Yeah, big surprise, I know.

This particular piece is of a very famous landmark in London, which isn't the only reason that I love it. The colors are very appealing to me. I think it really captures the London that I picture in my mind. It's dark and overcast, but there are glimmers of light that open many avenues of possibility and excitement.

Do you have a favorite artist or work of art?

Table Topics Tuesday: I'm sick!

This week, Shannon asks:

what makes you feel better when you're sick?

Well, I can tell you what it used to be. Remember the bed that I talked about here? Well, every time I was sick, I would curl up under our down comforter and let the pillowtop mattress swallow every ache and pain that I had until I felt better. And it worked a lot of the time.

Thankfully, I haven't gotten sick since we've moved, so I'm not sure what I'm going to turn to now. However, that super comfy overstuffed chair in the living room looks like it has a lot of potential!

Wanna play along this week? Head over to Shannon's!

Monday Morning Eye Candy

Because it's Monday.

Because I haven't done one of these posts in a long time.

Because I am very excited about today.

Today, my bff & I are heading to Birmingham to party down (for the second time in 11 months) with a little band called Kings of Leon.

We adore them. We love their music. And frankly, there are a couple of boys in this band that are pretty easy on the eyes. Let's review.

First, we have the delicious Caleb Followill. The lead singer. The bad boy. Wow, can this boy sing. I could seriously listen to him croon for hours on end.

And my personal favorite is Jared Followill. The bassist. The youngest brother. He is just so adorably cute. Oh, and he plays the piano. Oh my swoon!

Happy Monday everyone!

Book Review: One Day by David Nicholls

I just finished reading "One Day" by David Nicholls and I literally had to catch my breath. Mostly because I typically don't like these types of story endings, but for some reason, this one I was ok with. No spoilers here!

The story is set in Britain, where we meet Emma Morley & Dexter Mayhew as they have just graduated from university. After, what appears to be a one night stand on July 15th, 1988, these 2 individuals manage to stay in touch. Each chapter in the book is a snapshot at what is going on in these characters lives on July 15, every year after their original rendezvous. We see their relationship evolve through job changes, life changes, ups and downs.

Personally, I really liked this book. It took me about 3 chapters to become sincerely invested in the characters, but once I was, I hated to put this book down. I yearned to know what would happen next to Em & Dex. Sometimes I found myself rooting for them to get together and other times, I couldn't imagine them spending another moment in life together.

I didn't find this to be a predictable story and I found it very engaging. I'm excited that it's movie adaptation is being filmed right now and I'm so glad they're keeping the story in Britain!

I'm giving this book 4 out of 5 stars. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

I Love to Laugh

Dry wit & sarcasm are brands of humor that I appreciate tremendously.

Many years ago, I worked with a guy who had what many would call an air of pessimism about him. He rarely smiled and usually had a snarky remark about whatever the conversation at hand was about. I was one of the few people who really appreciated his wit and got to know what a great person he really was once you pulled back the layers of the onion exterior.

One of the funniest websites that he introduced me to was Despair.com. This site specializes in "de-motivational" posters; the opposite of those inspirational posters that you often see in offices everywhere. And I cry with laughter every time I check out this website. Here are a few of my favorites.



TRADITION: Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.



REGRET: It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second.



PROCRASTINATION: Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.



PRIORITIES: Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... But the world may be different because I did something so baffingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.



POSSIBILITIES: With focus, dedication, and steroids, men can achieve impossible dreams, like breaking a world record, or growing their own breasts.



WISHES: When you wish upon a star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteor hurtling to the earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteorite.

You are my obsession

I've mentioned here numerous times about how music is such an integral part of my life. I breathe it. I love to hear about new artists. I love to find new favorite songs. I love to connect deeply with a tune and blare it through my car speakers. Here are a few of my current loves.

Florence + The Machine: Dog Days are Over

This video is way out there but this is my FAVORITE song right now. I love, love, LOVE her voice.



_________________________

Katy Perry - Teenage Dream

This song inspired me to write a great scene in a book I've been working on for a while. It's actually inspired me to finally finish this manuscript!

_________________________

Glee Cast: To Sir With Love

This one brings me to tears almost every time. And not just because I'm a Gleek. The meaning behind the lyrics is really touching, especially if you've had a teacher in your life that made a serious impact on you.



What's your favorite song right now? What are you listening to on your iPod?

Table Topics Tuesday: My Reality

This week, Shannon's question is this:

what reality TV game show would you most like to be a contestant on?

This one is a cinch for me.

The Amazing Race.

It combines my love of travel, my highly competitive spirit, and my obsession with reality tv.

And here's a couple of reasons that I just can't get enough of this show.

This is the funniest episode I have ever seen. Who knew that cheese rolling could be so hilarious?



And this is just one of the reasons that I can't wait for the new season to start. (And she's ok, by the way.)



Is it wrong that I am reduced to major tears of laughter every time I watch this clip?

Yeah, I thought so.

Table Topics Tuesday: My Top 5 Hotties

Shannon is hosting our weekly roundtable discussion, where this week's question is...

Who is in your top 5?

Oh, the humanity of having to pore over the hundreds of picture of cute guys to determine which 5 are my favorites! After a lot of thought and drooling, I present you with my top 5.

#5 Daniel Craig: This guy looks so smokin' hot in a tux. And I really love him as James Bond. I'm really hoping they movie studios can get their act together and put him back in the 007 driver's seat.









#4 David Beckham: I have a thing for really talented soccer players. Who are blonde. (ahem...hi hubby!) David is beautiful to look at but when he talks, it's over with. Not even the wonderful British accent can save his silly voice. Thankfully my hubby has a lovely voice. Now if I could just get him to work on his British accent.













#3 Johnny Depp: Oh my, I have been lusting after this guy since my teenage years. A very long time, in other words. And a guy who is musically inclined...OY! Love a guy that can play the guitar.















#2 James McAvoy: The dark horse in this race. I totally fell for him in "Atonement" and went completely gaga with his stint in "Wanted". He's mysterious and a bit of a recluse, which makes him that much more appealing. Swoon.









#1 Robert Pattinson: Are we really surprised?


















So, who is in YOUR top 5?

101 Goals in 1,001 Days: Update #3

It's been a busy summer, but I've made a little bit of progress on my list!

#12: Read 100 books - Since my last update, I've read "Water for Elephants" by Sara Gruen and "Love the One You're With" by Emily Giffin. This brings my total to 5 books since I started this list in May. Making headway!

#18: Craft with Friends Once a Month - I had a blast hanging out with my best girlfriends last weekend and managed to complete 2 baby blankets for showers coming up. Yay!!

#32: Get a Massage - Thanks to a wonderful gift from hubby for my bday last month, I went to my favorite day spa and got a Hot Stone Massage which was FABULOUS!

#33: Stop Biting My Fingernails - I have finally conquered this bad habit! This was a hard one for me to kick, but I'm so glad I finally have.

#35: Start a Skincare Routine - Thanks to a reconnection with an old friend, I'm finally on a skincare regime that is going so well and it's so easy to do! I need simple in my life and I've been able to stick with this one for several weeks now.

#48: Go 7 Days without eating junk food snacks - Thanks to the ultimatum that my doctor gave me last month, I quit junk food cold turkey and went almost 3 weeks without any junk food. And now I don't crave it anymore, which is a miracle. I still have a sweet tooth, but I've learned to substitute things and I'm hoping to eventually wean myself so that I only enjoy sweets on occasion.

How is your list going? Have you achieved a goal recently that you're proud of?

The Classics

I am a self-proclaimed movie addict. It started at an early age with viewings of Star Wars, The Wizard of Oz and my all time favorite, The Sound of Music. However, hubby & I were just discussing our favorite movies growing up and it got me thinking about classics that I have never seen before. Let's take a look at a few majors on the list.

The Graduate - I think Dustin Hoffman is great and Anne Bancroft is just fabulous! I'm more than a little surprised that I haven't managed to see this one yet.
















Psycho - I was recently berated by some good friends over not having seen this one. I don't do horror movies and have always associated Hitchcock with classic horror films. Apparently I have been wrong this whole time. This one is on the list of films I need to see now.














The Philadelphia Story - I had never heard of this movie until I saw a clip of it in an episode of Gilmore Girls and just had to know what it was. The premise seems like classic romantic comedy/drama, which is right up my alley. I just need to get over my fear of black & white films.














Gone With the Wind - Alright, I heard the collective sigh from here. I know. How can I even call myself a southern girl?

















Casablanca - I know, another shocker. I think my aversion to this film is that I dated a guy who was obsessed with the movie, which I just didn't get. So, I successfully avoided it all of this time. Perhaps I need to give it another shot.









Breakfast at Tiffany's - Of all the Audrey Hepburn films, I think either this one or "My Fair Lady" would probably be most appealing to me. Yeah, I haven't seen that one either. I know. How can I call myself a movie addict?












Now that I've unloaded this embarrassing secret (ha, ha), I'm a woman on a mission. I'm taking on AFI's 100 Years...100 Movies list. I love lists and AFI is an organization that I highly respect when it comes to cinema. So, I'll be updating you guys every month or so as to what new films I've checked off their list. Wish me luck!

What movie classics are among your favorites? What ones have you not seen so that I don't feel so alone here under this rock?

The King and I

I've never considered myself a person who becomes emotionally attached to furniture or home furnishings of any kind, really. I don't get misty-eyed when a couch moves on to a new home or a lamp just doesn't fit the space anymore. However, things changed drastically when we moved into our new home this summer.

Meet my old bed. It no longer resides in the master bedroom. It is now awaiting our first overnight guests in this new house, in our first guest bedroom. And I'm broken-hearted.

You see, this old bed that has served us well for over 7 years is too big for the new master bedroom. (How we managed to end up with the smallest bedroom in the house is still a mystery to me. We have 6 bedrooms for crying out loud?!) This classic sleigh bed is King sized and has one of the most comfy mattresses that I've ever slept on. But, it just won't fit. So, we had to downsize. To a full size bed. Which sucks. Royally.

Making the transition from the huge bed to the matchbox has been tough, but we're finally used to it. But for me, it's more than just the transition from roomy, to not-so-roomy. It's trading in a whole lot of memories for our future. That bed provided comfort in really tough times, a great place to snuggle in the mornings with the kids and a fabulous place to enjoy a lazy Sunday morning.

I'm excited about our new house and all of the memories that we will make here and I'm trying hard to give this new bed a chance. That's only fair, right?

Is it just me? Do you have a piece of furniture that you would hate to lose?

I am GLEE-ful

Ok, I feel like I've been doing nothing more than complaining a whole lot around here, so let's talk about something that makes me very happy.

GLEE. I big red puffy heart that show and cannot wait for the new season to start.

In the meantime, I've been watching the opener from the Emmy's this past weekend. Jimmy Fallon...I big red puffy heart you too now because of your inspired show opener. Y'all enjoy!

Expectations

Today was one of those days when I felt like I needed to put my "parenting fail" t-shirt on and parade around town. It had started out so wonderfully. I had a fun morning of sharing music with other families and then scored a great deal on a couple of gorgeous dresses for my girls. After a leisurely lunch at home, I arrived at school to pick up my younger daughter first.

Her teacher took me aside and told me that Little A was completely withdrawn today, which is very unusual. Neither she nor her assistant could get anything out of Little A as to what the problem was, so it was now left to me to get to the bottom of the issue. No amount of gentle prodding was getting me any answers, so I let it go. We picked up Big A and headed to a local toy store for Big A's music lesson.

On our way home, Little A started crying and told me that she was very upset with me because during sharing time at school today, all of her classmates had photos of their bedrooms to share with the class, except for her. And then my heart broke. I had taken the photos and not had a chance to develop them yet and totally forgot about it.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to live up to a certain standard as a full-time mom. There are so many things that I try to make happen and at the top of that list is to make sure that my kids never feel left out of a situation, especially in the classroom. I really let her down this time and it's so painful.

I know that she's probably already over it and I've got her pictures ready for class tomorrow, but it'll be a long time before I forget the look on her face and that little voice cracking as she expressed her disappointment in me. These are the moments of parenting that I'm glad are few and far between.

Thank goodness tomorrow is a new day with a clean slate and the opportunity to live up to my own expectations.

Water for Elephants - Book Review

In an effort to get back into blogging full time (because I miss it terribly) I am participating in NaBloPoMo this month. This is a site that gives you writing prompts and message board support from other bloggers. The theme for this month is ART, which I plan to use in many instances.

I just finished reading "Water for Elephants" by Sara Gruen. I had read several glowing reviews about this book, but after reading the jacket cover a few times, I was convinced that I would not like this book. The story just didn't grab me. That is until I discovered that my favorite guy would be starring in the movie version of the book. And so I decided to give the book a chance, at least. I much prefer reading a book before I see the movie version anyway. I am SO GLAD I gave this book a chance!

This is a depression-era story that revolves around Jacob Jankowski, who is a young man on the verge of collapse due to tremendous personal tragedy. He finds temporary solace in a traveling circus, full of rich personalities and animals in need.

I quickly became caught up in the drama that unfolds throughout the book and loved the back & forth between Jacob as a young man and Jacob as an elderly man.

This is great storytelling and keeps you invested from beginning to end. And for the record, I cannot wait for the movie to come out! And it's not just because Jacob will be played by my guy. I'm really intrigued to see these characters come to life on the big screen!

What are you reading? Do you have a book recommendation?